My interest in Pinterest (eh? eh??) has not waned, but my participation has lessened greatly now that I'm not desperate for procrastination while writing term papers. Still, every now and then I'll do the old "oh hey I haven't been on Pinterest for a while I wonder what's up just for a few minutes of course I'll just pin a couple things doo dee da doo well that was fun what time is it HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT'S BEEN HOW LONG WHEN DID IT START SNOWING WHAT YEAR IS THIS!!" You know, that old story.
Whenever I pin my way down that rabbit hole, I find a particular string of pins that never fail to cheer me up. They all have a similar title: # ways to tell if ______; # reasons you should ______; # signs _____; or just the classic 'how to tell ______' style list. Some of the lists are actually good, probably. Maybe. Possibly? Let's face it, some of these list titles on their own would just be Facebook fodder, something I might click while eating breakfast, because who doesn't like to be scared shitless over a bowl of Kix first thing in the morning by an article such as 8 Period Symptoms You Should Get Checked Out ASAP? Spoiler alert, if you haven't suffered through any or all of these messy symptoms, you probably don't have a menstruating vagina. Didn't stop me from having a hypochondriatic heart attack at all the nightmarish possibilities that title brought to mind. This is the WebMD of lists: it could just be a change of diet changing the length of your cycle, or it could be vagina cancer. You know, that old story.
Anyway, since Pinterest is an image based social media outlet, there isn't always that little blurb at the bottom or a status at the top to give you the TL;DR version of the article. They have to seduce you by image and article title alone; they essentially force you to judge the proverbial book by its metaphorical cover. And because I'm a bitter hollow husk of a late twenty-something, judging things is most of my existence.
Also, please bear in mind, I have not read a single one of these lists. This is based on visual analysis alone. Maybe the articles are great--I wouldn't know. A lot of them are from Bustle and I usually enjoy their content, so...whatever, no one's going to read this anyway. Especially after I opened with concerns about my vagina.
1) Your brothers gain new evidence in their arguments that you are a filthy hippie
2) You save money on hair care products
Trust me, guys. I'm an expert at this.
1) Be rich enough to be able to afford someone to do all the actual planning for you.
2) If step one is impractical, don't get married. Just don't bother.
Also, those bridesmaids look like they're trying really hard to not kill the bride for saying something like, "I hope you girls find someone, so you can be as happy as I am." Should we kill her? You're right, wait till after the reception.
Et tu, Jessica?
If you want to actually read any of these lists, they're all saved on this board, where I save all of the weird things I might want to make fun of someday. Or shit that was meant for a different board but wound up there by accident. Never drink and pin, kids. Except always do that, it's awesome.