Madame Johanna & the Things She Do
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My First World Problems of 10/27/11 (a poem)

10/27/2011

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Dear Today,

Thank you for the lack of sleep.

Thank you for the stress.

Thank you for the nightly kitten

scratches, I’m just blessed.

Who needs a night of sleep

to recover from disease?

I’d rather have my best friends cat

pounce on my face, yes please!

Thank you for the lack of air in

the back tire of my car.

Squatting in gas station puddles–

That’s how every day should start!

Thank you for the old ass broad

driving slow in front of me.

I didn’t want to be on time.

Clearly, neither did she!

Thank you for the day at work,

for Thursdays are the greatest.

No Friday night distractions,

and tonight we’re open latest!

Thank you for the weather,

I just love the color gray.

The chilly rain, the icy roads;

they really make my day.

And if, Today, you love me

(and you very, clearly do)

I won’t get to Kwikfill in time,

and then I’ll get the flu!

Much love,

Johanna Rose

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    Mme. Johanna is a gaudy jewelry and baby possum enthusiast. This ambitious 30-something woman can often be found declining event invites on Facebook and losing interest in whatever latest hobby her newly diagnosed ADHD has hyperfocused on while she drinks wine on her couch, accompanied by her beloved dog, Dorothy Barker.

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